


Hyacinthus

by eorumverba



Series: hanahaki [3]
Category: SHINee
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 11:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9606329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eorumverba/pseuds/eorumverba
Summary: It’s almost pathetic, how inevitable it is, for Taemin to fall so completely in love, but he doesn’t mind. It’s romantic this way, being in love with his best friend, the person that loves him most.





	

Taemin has known Jonghyun for most of his life - since Jonghyun was ten and he was seven. They’ve grown up together, and Jonghyun was Taemin’s first everything, from first friend to first kiss. So it makes sense for Jonghyun to be Taemin’s first love as well - and if it were a perfect world, Jonghyun would love Taemin back, and they would kiss and date each other and get married and live together until they both died, still together, always together.

But it’s not a perfect world.

It’s almost pathetic, how inevitable it is, for Taemin to fall so completely in love, but he doesn’t mind. It’s romantic this way, being in love with his best friend, the person that loves him most.

Until he meets Kim Gwiboon.

And no, that’s not it...Gwiboon isn’t the one at fault, not really. She’d moved from Daegu to Seoul, been paired with Taemin in dance class, and from then, it’d been history. Gwiboon is intelligent, beautiful and she deserves the world - and she  _ knows  _ it. Gwiboon’s sharp tongue makes people shy away, but Taemin is one of the few that knows how truly  _ soft  _ she is, how vulnerable she can be and how fiercely loyal she is. He wishes he could love her.

But it all  _ clicks  _ one afternoon when Gwiboon barges into Taemin’s room while Jonghyun is over.

“Hello,” she says, crossing her arms and raising one perfectly plucked brow after flipping her bangs from her face, “you’re in my spot.”

“ _ Your  _ spot-”

“Gwiboon, Jonghyun. Jonghyun, Gwiboon.”

“I don’t really care, Taeminnie. Come on, let’s get ice cream. My treat.”

“No, Taemin and I were working on a project.”

“And what was your project? Poker?” Gwiboon gestures dismissively to the deck of cards on the bed before scoffing and directing her next words to Taemin, “ice cream.”

“Why don’t we all get-”

There is a resounding no from both Gwiboon and Jonghyun, and Taemin  _ sighs.  _ A sharp, almost obnoxious laugh from Gwiboon, and she spins on her heel, calling out a, “I’ll go then.” before shutting the door behind her.

Jonghyun  _ huffs  _ and flops down, head falling easily into Taemin’s lap as he brings Taemin’s hand to his hair, a wordless demand to be petted. “I  _ hate  _ her.”

“No you don’t, hyung. You barely know her.”

“Still hate her.”

Gwiboon promptly texts Taemin a  _ I hate him, he looks like a dinosaur.  _ So Taemin decides that he’ll make Gwiboon and Jonghyun be friends, one way or another.

And  _ that  _ is his undoing.

Taemin somehow manages to get both Gwiboon and Jonghyun to get pizza one day at his house - they both end up agreeing that pineapples on pizza  _ suck,  _ and they turn to each other, startled. Gwiboon has a soft smile on her lips, and Jonghyun lets out a startled little laugh, and from then on, Taemin is the third wheel among his two best friends. He doesn’t mind though, not really - not when they both look so happy.

He minds when Gwiboon tells him how  _ cute  _ Jonghyun is, what a good singer he is, what a natural born performer he is. He minds when Jonghyun giggles over messages Gwiboon sends him, that he’s always on his phone, that every other sentence has Gwiboon’s name in it.

He minds when he texts Jonghyun asking if he wants to come over, and Jonghyun messages back that he’s taking Gwiboon on a date. A  _ date. _

Taemin minds when he leans over the edge of the bed and pukes - and all that comes up are soft purple petals.

He’s known that the Hanahaki Disease exists, but he never...thought  _ he’d  _ get it.

Because in a perfect world, Jonghyun would be taking  _ him  _ on a date, not Gwiboon. They’d have kissed in Taemin’s room, confessed either just before or just afterwards, and the rest would be history.

Not  _ this,  _ not Taemin dying over one-sided love while his love cavorts all over with his new girlfriend. Because there’s no way Gwiboon will say no, not now, not ever.

> **To Jjong-hyung: hey**
> 
> **To Jjong-hyung: i love you, you knwo that?**
> 
> **From Jjong-hyung: haha ya iilyt dude**
> 
> **From Jjong-hyung: movies abt to start ill message later k**
> 
> **From Gwiboon: stp txting jong lmao**
> 
> **To Gwiboon: sorry**
> 
> **To Gwiboon: have fun**
> 
> **From Gwiboon: r u ok?**
> 
> **From Jjong-hyung: tae gwiboon said you’re upset??**
> 
> **To Jjong-hyung: im fine. have fun**
> 
> **To Gwiboon: dnt worry about it. have fun**

Neither of them answer - or maybe they do, but Taemin turns his phone off and curls up in bed, silently cries himself to sleep so no one in his family will hear and come investigate.

Taemin deletes all of his social media accounts - his Snapchat and Twitter and Tumblr and Instagram feeds are only of Jonghyun and Gwiboon, and while he’s definitely happy for them, he doesn’t  _ like  _ coughing up hyacinth petals every time he sees a picture of them. (After some research, Taemin finds out that hyacinths mean sincerity, and that  _ purple _ hyacinths symbolize asking for forgiveness and deep regret _. _ Fucking ironic.)

Jonghyun and Gwiboon find out together - they both come into Taemin’s room, deep frowns on both of their faces. “You’ve been avoiding us,” Gwiboon says, blunt as ever, “why?”

Taemin doesn’t answer, already feeling petals bubbling up in his throat, and Jonghyun tries this time. “Taeminnie, I  _ missed  _ you. Didn’t you - miss me too?” And there is so much raw  _ emotion  _ in his voice that Taemin claps a hand over his mouth to avoid crying out because  _ he missed Jonghyun so fucking much. _

“Taemin, open your mouth.” It  _ would  _ be Gwiboon, Taemin thinks grimly. He shakes his head, but he doesn’t protest when Jonghyun gently pulls Taemin’s hand down. Just seeing the worry and love in Jonghyun’s eyes is enough to make Taemin push him away so he can vomit handfuls of petals on the floor in front of him.

And it’s silent.

Gwiboon doesn’t even ask Taemin if he’s going to get the surgery - she knows him too well. She just gathers him in her arms and lets him cry.

And after the funeral, she and Jonghyun linger - Jonghyun’s eyes are dry, and it worries her. Because Jonghyun had been inconsolable when he heard of Taemin’s death, had burst into tears at the mere thought of him. But now - Gwiboon peeks up at him out of the corner of her eye, worrying her lip as she sees him standing stock still, eyes dry and cold.

He’s still staring down at Taemin’s tombstone (in loving memory - beloved brother, son and best friend), and he starts at Gwiboon’s touch, like he’d forgotten she was there.

“Sorry, I - I remember the first time I met him...he was seven and I was ten. I went to his house and we played xbox...god. It seems like so long ago.”

“It was.”

“I just wish he’d  _ told  _ me,” Jonghyun’s voice breaks and Gwiboon feels  _ relieved  _ when he begins to cry, “I should’ve noticed how bad he was, I should’ve  _ done  _ something!”

“He doesn’t blame you. He hid it very well.”

“I was his best friend, Gwiboon.”

“You  _ are  _ his best friend.”

Jonghyun crumples to the ground at that and lets out a poorly muffled sob, not flinching when Gwiboon joins him and wraps her arms around him. He’s shaking (or maybe she is) and Gwiboon  _ lets  _ him cry, waits for him to calm down before standing with him and pulling him away from Taemin’s grave.

They come back every year with a bouquet of hyacinths for Taemin’s tombstone.


End file.
